How To Win Friends And Influence People | English Novel

Main aim of this book:

Enable us to make friends quickly and easily
Increase our popularity
Increase your ability to get things done
Enable us to win new clients, customers
Make you a better salesman
Make you a better speaker
Make you more entertaining
Help you arouse enthusiasm among your associates

How to deal with people:

Never criticize, condemn or complain
When people are criticized they rarely respond well And will often become defensive and would resent the critic
“Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn—and most fools
do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding
and forgiving.

Give honest and sincere appreciation

Appreciation is the most powerful tools in the world
People will——– rarely work at their maximum potential under criticism
Appreciation =/= simply flattery
Appreciation must be sincere, meaningful and with love

Arouse in the other person an eager want

Always forget your own perspective if you want to get your work done from someone else
Begin to see things from the POV of others
We should combine our desires with their wants —– they become eager to work with us and we can mutually achieve our objectives
“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.”

6 important ways to make others like you

“Talk to someone about themselves and they’ll listen for
hours.”

Become genuinely interested in other people

“You can make more friends in 2 months by being interested in them, than in 2 years by making them interested in you.”
The ONLY way to make LASTING friendships is to learn to be genuinely interested in people and their INTERESTS

Smile:

Smiles are free to give and have an amazing ability to make others feel wonderful
Smile in everything that you do
“Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, ‘I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.”

Remember that a person’s name —- is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language

An average person is more interested in their own name than in all the other names in the world put together
People love their names sooooo much that they will often donate large amounts of money just to have a building named after themselves
We can make people feel extremely valued and important by remembering their name

Remember to be a good listener— encourage others to talk about themselves:

To be a good listener we must actually care about what people have to say

Talk in terms of the other person’s interest

The royal road to a person’s heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most
If we talk to people about what they are interested in, they will feel valued and will value us in return
“Personally I am very fond of strawberries and cream, but I have found that for some strange reason, fish prefer worms. So when I went fishing, I didn’t think about what I wanted. I thought about what they wanted. I didn’t bait the hook with strawberries and cream. Rather, I dangled a worm or grasshopper in front of the fish and said: “Wouldn’t you like to have that?” Why not use the same common sense when fishing for people?”

Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely

“To be interesting, be interested.”
“You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it.”
“A barber lathers a man before he
shaves him.”
Also remember these 12 things to win people to your way of thinking
“If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent’s good will.”
The only way to get the best of an argument is toavoid it
Always show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say You’re wrong
If you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically

Begin in a friendly way- a drop of honey can catch more flies than a gallon of gall- even if we are greatly upset, we must be friendly to influence people to our way of thinking

“Once I did bad and that I heard ever. Twice I did good, but that I heard never.”
Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes
Let the other person do a great deal of talking
Try to honestly see things from the other person’s perspective- success in dealing with people requires a sympathetic grasp of the other person’s view point
Begin with praise and honest appreciation
“Don’t be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter
you.”