IAS Officer Tapasya Parihar Refuses To Perform Kanyadan

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2018-batch IAS officer Tapasya Parihar persuaded her father not to perform the kanyadaan ritual on her marriage day, surprising everyone present on the occasion.

Tapasya told her father that she was not a charity, but his daughter. After this, the ceremony of Kanyadan was not performed in their marriage and the marriage ceremony was completed with the rest of the rituals.
There is a special custom that is followed by Hindus at the time of the marriage of a girl. In a symbolic ceremony called the kanyadaan, the father gives away his daughter to the groom’s family. From that moment on, she is no longer considered to be a part of her parental family, as she becomes the new member of the groom’s family.
Without this ceremony, the marriage is deemed incomplete. This ceremony is strongly rooted in traditions and is followed religiously by most Hindu families.

She took a strong stand against this tradition of giving away a daughter forever and opted not to take part in the kanyadaan ceremony and even persuaded her father to stay away from performing the ritual.
By her one small step, she sent out a very strong message to society, and the best part is, her family as well as her in-laws unanimously supported her decision.
Parihar is married to IFS officer Garvit Gangwar. He is from Tamil Nadu cadre.
Both had met during their training in Mussoorie. After marriage, Mr. Gangwar has taken transfer to Madhya Pradesh cadre to be with his wife.

They had a court marriage in July this year. Again, on December 12, they had a Hindu traditional marriage in Pachmarhi, Madhya Pradesh, followed by a grand reception in Jova village.
She says that she is a child of her parents, not a property to be donated.
She questions: “When two people tie the knot on the basis of equality, then what is the justification of donating one of them to the other? How can a living person be donated to another person?”
Husband Garvit Gangwar, too, echoes her thoughts, saying that nothing should be imposed on daughters and that marriage is an equal partnership between two people. “After marriage, why does the girl have to change completely? Be it applying sendur (vermilion) or taking a pallu, all the traditions are made for girls only. There is no such tradition for boys. So, we thought, we should try to do away with such beliefs gradually.”

More About Tapasya Parihar

Tapasya Parihar is originally from Narsinghpur, Madhya Pradesh. She completed her schooling from Kendriya Vidyalaya. After this, she studied law at the Indian Law Society’s Law College, Pune.
After pursuing law, Tapasya Parihar decided to give UPSC exam. For UPSC, she joined coaching, but failed in the pre-examination itself, in the first attempt.
She was allotted IAS in the year 2017 after clearing CSE with AIR 23.

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